Marvelverse on The Couch

PPP: For an entertainment medium, you seem to be very absorbed with violence, Marvelverse. Perhaps we could go back to the start. Tell me in your own words, only the good things that come in to mind about... your mother.

Marvelverse: Well... it's a little tricky. You see, my mother was a secret agent who died before I was born - or else she died in a plane crash, and put me into a space capsule so that I could be the only one who survived, or died before I was born (again), or left my father when began working for an underworld crime syndicate, or... In fact, nine times out of ten, I don't seem to have any parents left by the time I hit college.

PPP: Hmmm... what about your Significant Other?

MV: Well, I tend to be a single male. I have various affairs, but they're just the kind of shallow thing which fits in a couple of captions. Most of my dates tend to be interrupted by having to be a super-hero. If I do get a girl, then tend to turn out to be under-cover agents from an alien race studying our weaknesses before they attack... As for sex, well, you've heard of the Comics Code, right?

PPP: I'm sorry? Do you mean that the Comics Code will let you blow the guts out of some guy, slit people's throats, and generally mutilate in graphic detail - but won't let you get nekkid without slapping an Adults Content on you?

MV: That's pretty much it! You gotta get into some serious mutilation before they throw a sticker on ya, but you start admiring the female form in too much detail, and they're onto you pretty quick.

PPP: So, you're deprived of meaningful relationships...?

MV: Well, you have to remember that I have a mental age of around fourteen! Meaningful relationships are a big ask. Me, I'd just like to play "Hide the Sausage" a bit more oft...

PPP: OK, OK! Enough of that. So you're misogynistic, violent, repetitive, immature, and increasingly expensive. You solve nearly all your problems with violence, trivialise death, and present a dangerously distorted view of reality which can do nothing but harm any impressionable reader who has the misfortune to be sucked in to your maelstrom of evil! So how do you think you manage to survive in this modern, new-age world which is struggling so hard to eschew hatred and build a better future for us all?

MV: Plus ca Change, my friend - Plus ca Change...