Comics : Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #4
This story is part of a Lookback Series: Worst of the Worst
This review was first published on: 2002.
If you started with Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #1 then you'll know what's going on here..
Spider-Man (Vol. 1) #4
Nov 1990 : SM Title
Arc: Part 4 of "Torment"
Reprinted In: Complete Spider-Man (UK) #4
Reprinted In: Spider-Man: Torment (TPB)
|Articles: Calypso (FB), Calypso, Lizard, Mary Jane Watson-Parker|
Plots are generally supposed to move forward, but this storyline appears to be just one long stall. How much do you want to bet that Spidey continues to fight the Lizard while Calypso does her voodoo stuff and Mary Jane does some incredibly pedestrian things that have nothing to do with the plot?
No one wants to take that bet? I'm not surprised. The opening page tells us that Kraven "Can't be back from the grave! He can beat any odds the sickly smirk tells us. Against death. Against Spider-Man. No matter what, he will always... [turn the page. Sigh, just shoot me now] ...RISE ABOVE IT ALL!"
Spidey gets all surprised, says "Kraven" and then falls unconscious as the Kraven apparition is revealed to be Calypso and she orders the Lizard to bring Spidey back to their lair. This took eight pages of story. I'm not kidding.
Meanwhile, Mary Jane waits for a taxi. Again.
Spidey wakes up in Kraven's mansion, bound with ROPE, and is confronted by Calypso and her lap dog, the Lizard. Calypso doesn't explain much. She goes back to her endless voodoo ritual while mentally keeping the Lizard from ripping Spidey's throat out.
Mary Jane goes dancing. Again.
Calypso continues her ritual. The Lizard is still frozen on the verge of ripping Spidey's throat out. We get a little flashback history of Calypso. She's one sick puppy. The ritual continues. Calypso says, "it's time [finally! - TE]." After the first eight pages, this stuff took eleven pages of story to unfold. I am not making this up.
It's time for Spidey to escape! What does he do? How can he possibly get out of this one? He rips the ROPE that had him tied up with his super strength! Wow! What a great escape! Who could have thought of that?
The Lizard attacks. Spidey kicks him into a wall. Gas pipes burst. The flames from the voodoo ritual ignite the gas [it's drawn as oil, but the caption says its gas - TE] and Kraven's mansion explodes. Next, part five, the final travesty, err, chapter.
Be brave, we're nearly finished.
Half a web.