Background
A group of four powerful men decided to profit on the exibition of super-
hero/super-villain
fights, and the gambling that those ensued. The four men were Donald Hart (high
powered CEO),
Gary Wisen (Hollywood executive), Buck Masterson (oil baron) and Edwin Hills
(software
billionaire)
Hart, who had the idea and formed the group, produced Boomerang as his
challenger. Wisen
would later enlist the Rocket Racer, but we're here to talk about the
second bout, where
Masterson hired the Scorpion and Hills employed his latest creation, the
robot XP-2000.
Spider-Man was their ideal test-subject: he had drawing power (quite hated by
the target
audience) and no affiliation with any group of heroes or the authorities. And,
of course,
the Scorpion insisted.
XP's first line was classic. When the huge Masterson expressed his hatred
toward robots upon
sight of XP-2000, and asked where was he looking at, XP's response was:
"Head and shoulder area of overweight caucasian male. Searching for neck...
searching..."
"Neck not found..."
Moving on to the story then: after the defeat of Boomerang, and due to the lack
of appeal of a
Spider-Man vs. Robot fight, Scorpion was added to the playing card as well.
They double-teamed
Spider-Man, and this was the birth of a beautiful friendship. Or, as Mac Gargan
put it when he
met XP-2000, "I've worked with worse." (No doubt he had Egghead in
mind when he said that...)
XP's fighting skills were an instant sucess. By announcing his attacks and
actually counting
down to them, he ensured that Spidey could effectively evade his attacks or
turn them against
the Scorpion with little effort and no Spider-Sense needed.
But don't think XP's logical idiocy ended there - oh, no. It probably had no
limits. Judge by
yourself:
"Prepare to crush subject in metal claws..."
"No, come on, buddy, why would you want to crush me with your claws?"
"Query noted... generating answer"
"Subject: Spider-Man. Has no group affiliation. No arrangement with the law.
You are the
perfect guinea pig. The audience -- criminals, of course -- love to watch you.
All in the hope
that you'll be exterminated. You make great sport. Money in the bank."
"Uh... thanks."
"If you have further questions, feel free to contact Edwin --"
And that's about the time Scorpion saved the day, by destroying XP before he
could reveal his
boss.
But fear not. Spidey defeated the Scorpion, and restored the power to XP's
head, and then took
him to the Fantastic Four to make the robot operational again, so he could
learn about his
bosses. But even malfunctioning, our friend XP is resilient. Let's see...
"I am the XP-2000, at your service -- sKrK! -- Crush you. Crush you in my
claws."
"Your XP unit requires maintenance. Please reattach metal claws."
"So you can...?"
"sKrK! Crush you in them."
Or, when looking at one of his parts in Spidey's hands,
"Where did you get that? Is that mine, you son of a --"
After that, Reed kicks Spidey off the lab, and talks to XP himself. XP promptly
falls in love
with him. Watching everything via remote camera, Wisen gets jealous, while Hart
freaks out,
knowing that the only chance they have of stopping Spidey is the Rocket
Racer.
Spidey leaves with XP for the gambling center after Reed triangulates XP's
transmission signal
and gives him a personality tweak. At the site, XP sets adrunken drifter on the
right path with
a pep talk. Meanwhile, the Rocket Racer arrives, following XP's homing beacon,
and Spidey throws
the fight, angering the gamblers - after all, who'd bet for the Rocket Racer?
While Spidey is
getting beaten, XP expresses his newfound concern ("Oh dear. If only I had
my metal claws...
") And since Rocket isn't a bad guy per se, he gives Spidey Hart's address
and leaves.
In the end, Spidey aprehends the 4 magnates, and XP testifies against them in
front of the
Supreme Court. Still without his claws, apparently...
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